Slidedc (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} slidedc) wrote,@ 2002-05-06 16:48:00 |
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Trouble Trouble
Not really. I've had a great weekend. Have you ever felt so good physically that you lose touch with reality? Like the endorphins or something make you lose touch with outside and your universe stops at just about the point where your skin begins. What a mind blow! I had an experience like that this weeken and it really helped change my perspective on all the shit that's been happening outside my skin day-to-day.
I knew it was time for something to change. I asked my mom if she would ever describe me as "easy-going". She laughed out loud and told me I was one of the most uptight people she knew. Now, just to clarify, I am definitely not uptight in some religiously conservative, "I would never do that" sort of way. I am a huge worrier! Deep down inside I worry about everything being my fault. And I am constantly trying to fix things.
This has all come to a head recently with my new job. I've been trying to control things. Actually, to be more accurate, I have been trying to control EVERYTHING. This has had the predictable effect of driving everyone I work with CRAZY.
Back to where I started...So I had this absolutely mind blowing physical experience this weekend and it made me think...Maybe I've been taking things way too seriously. In the grand scheme of things I don't have much time here, and lord knows I don't even know how much time that might be...Why have I wasted more than 30 years worrying about things I can't control? What's the point?
Not really. I've had a great weekend. Have you ever felt so good physically that you lose touch with reality? Like the endorphins or something make you lose touch with outside and your universe stops at just about the point where your skin begins. What a mind blow! I had an experience like that this weeken and it really helped change my perspective on all the shit that's been happening outside my skin day-to-day.
I knew it was time for something to change. I asked my mom if she would ever describe me as "easy-going". She laughed out loud and told me I was one of the most uptight people she knew. Now, just to clarify, I am definitely not uptight in some religiously conservative, "I would never do that" sort of way. I am a huge worrier! Deep down inside I worry about everything being my fault. And I am constantly trying to fix things.
This has all come to a head recently with my new job. I've been trying to control things. Actually, to be more accurate, I have been trying to control EVERYTHING. This has had the predictable effect of driving everyone I work with CRAZY.
Back to where I started...So I had this absolutely mind blowing physical experience this weekend and it made me think...Maybe I've been taking things way too seriously. In the grand scheme of things I don't have much time here, and lord knows I don't even know how much time that might be...Why have I wasted more than 30 years worrying about things I can't control? What's the point?
